“Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”

“I stutter when I get around pretty girls… So, what’s your n-n-n-n-n-name?”

“Who’s the thief? It looks like someone stole a piece of heaven and tried to hide it in your eyes.”

“Heaven must be worried right now… because I see they’re missing an angel.”

“I didn’t know angels could fly so low.”

“Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“I’m sorry, were you talking to me… (“No”) Would you please start?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight? (“No”) Okay, I’ll walk by again.”

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”

“Is there an airport close? Oh, that’s just my heart taking off.”

“Excuse me, do you have any raisins? (“No”) How about a date?”

“I lost my number can I have yours?”

“Have we met before? (“No”) Oh, it must have been in my dreams.”

“Was your dad a terrorist? ‘Cause you’re the bomb!”

Hope you have a great Memorial Day weekend!

Mind Boggler:

What’s greater than God, more evil than the devil, the rich don’t have it, but the poor do, and if you eat it, you will die?

Funny: Fun Things To Do In An Elevator…

1. Pass out name tags to everyone. Wear yours upside down.

2. Make explosion noises whenever someone presses a button.

3. Carry a cooler that has “Human Head” printed on the side.

4. Say in a deep demonic voice, “I must find a new host body.

5. Do step aerobics. Encourage others to join you.

6. Whistle “It’s a Small World” constantly.

7. Burp then say, “Mmmmmm…Tasty.”

8. Wear a sock puppet and talk to other people “through” the puppet.

9. Stare at another passenger for 10 seconds then say, “You’re one of them!”  Move to a far corner.

10. Meow occasionally.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Blow your nose. Look into your hanky and scream, “Yes! Another winner!”

13. Blow spit bubbles and giggle every time one blows up.

14. Say “ding” at each floor.

15. Two words: AIR BISCUIT!  

Sorry if you don’t get the last one.  It was a youth group joke!  

Hope you all have a great week.

Youth Light on January 14, 2001

-Stare at them for 5 minutes straight every hour. Don’t say anything, just stare.

-Walk around real stiff with a big smile the whole day. Tell everyone you’ve turned into gumby.

-Bring Transformers to school and play with them all day. When your friends tell you to quit, tell them, “they’re more than meets the eye.”

-Constantly walk into walls. Blame your friends.

-When your friend sneezes or coughs, run and hide in the bathroom for a few minutes. Ask it it’s safe to come out and insist they wash their hands.

-Echo every last word your friends say. (Like, “How are you doing today?”  ”Today…today…today…”)

-Call your friends “sweetie-pie” or “baby cakes” all day.

-Smile all the time.

-Draw a tiny black dot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say “It’s spreading!”

-Skip wherever you go. Fall now and then.

-Draw a face on a potato and bring it to school. Give it a name and talk to it all day.

-Shave one eye brow

-Talk with a british accent all day.  Act confused when they ask about it.

Nothing else really exciting in this youth light.

What Do You Call A Guy With No Arms and No Legs…

…at a barbecue? Frank

…flying over the fence? Homer

…and his friend hanging around a window? Curt and Rod

…hanging on a wall? Art

…waterskiing? Skip

…in a hole? Phil

…on a porch? Matt

…on a stage? Mike

…on a piece of paper? Mark

…in a bank? Buck

…in a hot tub? Stu

Jay also has the Resthome ministry groups.  the last one is Josh Mancini and Willie Gonzalez! lol

He also preached the message “Respecting Authority.”  It look like it was part of a series because it says “Life of Paul VIII”

At a Santa Fe Gas Station: “We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”

In a Florida Maternity Ward: “No Children allowed”

In a New York Medical Building: “Mental Health Prevention Center.”

In the Window of a Kentucky Appliance Store: “Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”

In a Funeral Parlor: “Ask about our layaway plans.”

In the Window of an Oregon Store: “Why go elsewhere to be cheated when you can come here?”

In a Maine Restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.”

On a Radiator Repair Garage: “Best place to take a leak.” Jay put in (Forgive me, but it cracked me up!)

California Restaurant/Gas Station: “Kids with gas eat free”