Just for fun: Lawyer Goofs!
Youth Lights from March 7th and 21st 2004
I still have a whole collection of youth lights! They bring back great memories and laughs! I think the oldest one I have is September 17, 2000! Thanks Jay for the creativity and thought that you put into making youth group so much fun!
Lawyers aren’t typically funny–unless by accident. Case in point: The following questions from lawyers were taken from official court records nation wide:
1. Was that the same nose you broke as a child?
2. Now, doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning?
3. Q: What happened then?
¬†¬† ¬† A: He told me, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.”
     Q: Did he kill you?
4. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
5. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
6. Were you alone or by yourself?
7. How long have you been French Canadian?
8. Do you have children or anything of that kind?
9. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
¬†¬† ¬† A: That’s me
     Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
10. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
11. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
       A: By death
       Q: And by whose death was it terminated
12. Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
       A: I used to be
       Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
13. So you were gone until you returned?
14. Q: She had 3 children, right?
       A: yes
       Q: How many were boys?
       A: none
       Q: Were there girls?
15. You don’t know what it was, and you don’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it?
16. Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
       A: yes
       Q: And these stairs, did they go up also
17. Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
       A. Not yet
18. Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body of Mr. Edington at the Rose Chapel?
      A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 pm
¬† ¬† ¬† Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time…
      A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!
I do have all the pick-up lines because of the youth lights! 
Tags: Jay, Lawyer, Youth Light
lol Thief! Stealing funnies from the Youth Light.
j/k. This is enjoyable reading. 
Renae, what was the funny from the 2000 Youth Light you have? This Lawyer Funny is cool. It’ll be making a return appearance in a coming Youth Light.
lol these are great. i’m not sure which one I think is the most hillarious.
Jay
Cards You’ll Never See in Hallmark was the original funny! Here they are for you! You used it again but called it “if Jay wrote greeting cards” and you added a few!
“Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder…What was I thinking?!”
“Thanks for being a part of my life!!!…I never knew what evil was before this!”
“Before you go,…I would like you to take this knife out of my back. You’ll probably need it again.”
“When we were together, you always said you’d die for me…Now that we’ve broken up, I think it’s time you kept your promise.”
“We have been friends for a long time…What do you say we call it quits?”
“I’m so miserable without you…It’s almost like you’re here.”
It also had a news flash section and talks about you giving birth to your first child, and about Henry and Jonathan starting to work at the “drive-thru-dairy”
I just finished the Youth Light for this Sunday and wanted to thank you for making my job just a bit easier!
You are welcome! I have a lot of the youth lights so I will just keep putting up the funnys and you can decide if you want to use it or not!
jk I have enjoyed going back through them! Good memories! Fun Times!